聘外易

　　We all face ill-wishers, when we set goals and begin to reach them, no matter at what stage we are now: sceptics, critics, people who taunt us or say that we won’t succeed in what we do.

　　当我们设定了目标并开始去实现的时候，不论我们目前处于哪个阶段，我们都会遇到幸灾乐祸的人：有的人持怀疑态度，有的大肆批评，有的则奚落我们，或者预言我们在所做的事情上不会成功。

　　Such people are a very powerful force, because even with "innocent" jokes and comments they can make you slow down or even stop moving towards your goals.

　　此类人具有超强的影响力，因为即便说了些"毫无恶意的"玩笑和话语，他们就能让你放慢甚至停下向目标前进的脚步。

　　How to deal with ill-wishers? Of course, they are all different, but here are a few good general tips:

　　如何应对幸灾乐祸的人呢？当然，他们各不相同，但是我们总结了以下几条应对一般情况的建议：

　　1. First, learn to identify them.

　　首先，学会认清他们。

　　Sometimes we just do not realize that someone is our ill-wisher. They can be close friends or family members, so when they say negative things, we often believe them and take them to heart. You should remember that there is a big difference between realists and sceptics. Learn to listen to what others say, and note your reaction. If that upsets you and makes you feel depressed, then probably these people are your ill-wishers.

　　有时我们只是意识不到某个人是希望我们不幸的人。他们可能是我们的挚友或家人，所以当他们说一些消极的话语时，我们通常会相信他们，把他们的话放在心上。你应该记住，现实主义者和怀疑论者是有很大区别的。学会倾听他人的话语，并注意你自己的反应。如果他们的话让你生气，让你感到沮丧，那么大概这些人就是希望你不幸的人。

　　2. Think maybe they are right.

　　思考一下或许他们是对的。

　　As was mentioned above, sometimes they are just trying to be realistic. They may have good reasons for their negative attitude. Take a step back and think objectively why they have doubts and see a real obstacle, and if so, then try to figure out how to overcome it. If you really want to reach your goal, you will find a solution. If your ill-wishers are certainly wrong, just move on.

　　如上所述，有时他们只不过试图现实一些。他们或许有很好的理由来说明自己消极的态度。退一步，客观地思考一下为什么他们有疑虑，认清真正的阻碍。如果真是如此，那么努力找到战胜阻碍的方法。如果你真的想实现你的目标，那么你就会找到解决办法。如果幸灾乐祸的人确实是错了，那你就继续前进吧。

　　3. Reject any negative thoughts they bring.

　　不接受他们带来的任何消极思想。

　　Enemies will always try to bring to you their negative thoughts, which can raise doubts about your rightness. Then it can grow and affect the way you feel about your goals. Stop these negative thoughts as soon as possible! Replace them with positive beliefs. Do not let them beat you!

　　敌人总是会试图将他们的消极思想带给你，这些思想会让你怀疑自己是否正确，然后会慢慢影响你对自己的目标的感觉。尽快摆脱这些消极的思想吧！让积极的信念取而代之。不要让它们打败你！

　　4. Understand that you will always have enemies, and don’t take them to heart.

　　懂得你总是会有敌人，不要把他们放在心上。

　　In everyone’s life there is at least one enemy. You cannot avoid seeing them but you can avoid listening to them. Just smile and do not pay attention to their words. They will not be able to affect you if you ignore their words.

　　在每个人的一生中，至少会有一个敌人出现。你不可避免会看到他们，但是你可以避免听信他们。只用微笑面对，不要在意他们的话语。如果你忽略他们的话，他们就不会影响到你。

　　5. Try to win them over.

　　努力把敌人争取过来。

　　Sometimes ill-wishers are your close people and you can’t ignore them. If so, it is better to enlist the help of these people, rather than fight them. Try to do it as soon as possible. Tell them that it is very important to you, and you need their help. Tell them that you understand their concerns, but you really need a positive attitude and support. If they are your close people who care about you, they will become your best allies.

　　有时候，幸灾乐祸的人就是跟你很亲密的人，你不能忽视他们。如果是这样，最好就是谋取这些人的帮助，而不是同他们斗争。尽快去争取他们。告诉他们这对你很重要，你需要他们的帮助。告诉他们你了解他们的担忧，但是你真的需要积极的态度和支持。如果他们是和你关系亲密、关心你的人，他们会变成你最好的盟友。

　　6. Laugh with them.

　　跟他们一起笑。

　　Sometimes people feel uncomfortable when you take some changes and in order to get rid of this discomfort, they come up with different jokes and begin to taunt you. They just do not know how else to react. Be aware of this and just laugh. If you take their words as nothing more but just a good joke, it disarms them. They can continue making jokes at you, but it won’t longer affect you if you’ll just laugh at them.

　　当你做出一些改变时，有时人们会感到不安。为了消除这种不安，他们会讲许多笑话开始奚落你。他们只是不知道其他人会是如何反应。要注意这一点，而且只管笑吧。他们会继续拿你开玩笑，但是如果你只是随着他们一起笑的话，这将不再影响你。

　　7. Have ready-made counter-arguments and use them.

　　用现成的论点

　　反驳他们。

　　Sometimes people are just misinformed about what is happening. They may misunderstand what you are doing. Think on all their arguments and prepare your counter-arguments. Conduct your small research and justify the correctness of your actions. Then try to "enlighten" your ill-wishers. If you do it correctly, with a positive and sincere attitude, you can manage to make a person listen to you, and perhaps even change his opinion. If you fail, then at least you will be much better informed about their arguments and won’t let them give birth to doubts in your head.

　　有时候，人们只不过是被误传了正在发生的事情。他们可能误解了你当前做的事情。思量一下他们的所有论点，准备好反驳的话语。小范围地进行一下研究，证明你的行为是恰当的。然后努力"开导"那些幸灾乐祸的人。如果你的做法恰当，带着积极、诚恳的态度，你就能成功地让人听信你，甚至能改变他的观点。如果你失败了，那么至少你更好地了解了他们的观点，不会让他们使你的大脑再生疑虑。

　　8. Be sure that you are doing something good.

　　肯定你做的事情是好事。

　　Sometimes there is nothing you can do about it. You can’t convince them, you can’t avoid them, you can’t laugh with them… Therefore, you should just ignore them and continue telling yourself that when you reach your goal, it will be a reward for enduring these people.

　　有时候你对敌人也是束手无策。你不能说服他们，不能躲避他们，不能跟他们一起笑……因此，你应该忽视他们，不断地告诉自己当你实现了自己的目标，这将是对忍耐这些人的回报。

　　Remember that enemies will always exist in your life. But they are just an additional obstacle on the way towards your goal. If you look for solutions, you can defeat them or make them your allies.

　　记住，敌人总是存在于你的生活中。但是他们只不过是你实现目标的道路上的额外障碍。如果你去寻找解决方法，你就能打败他们，或者让他们成为你的盟友。

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